E-mail the "yoo-Hoo"... Pantyman at Pantyman@pantygrams.com and ask him about his adventures!

Check out some of the correspondence he's had so far with his many fans and followers... 

You-Who is Pantyman, 
I gotta question. How do you keep from freezing your buttocks of when in cold countries? I live in a cold country and let me tell you - I run around like you - I get frostbite on my bottom! Not a pretty sight. Please help.
Shivering in Shorts in Siberia

Dear Shivering:
I was raised in a country where cold wasn’t a problem. For you though, what a bummer! I would suggest some nice fur-lined thermal shorts, and keep your time outside to a bare minimum.
As for your frozen rump - I would suggest you defrost in this way: Run a nice warm bath
Grab two bottles cold Vodka
Relax in warm bath, drink one bottle Vodka
Reheat bath, drink second bottle of Vodka
Dry off, climb into thermal undies , then bed, and try some undie-cover work with your wife.
By following these steps carefully, your trembling tush should turn into a bare-able backside!



Dear Pantyman,
I recently saw a program, which featured a bunch of red-cheeked baboons. It looks so painful, and a little gross. Your sense of giving has inspired me to try to do something to help these red-cheeked primates. What can I do?
Saver of Simians

Dear Saver:
Your desire to assist these roasted rump primates is admirable. Our crack team of researchers, some actually baring their cracks, has discovered that the tender behinds of the beasts have been “Bum-Baked” in the hot tropical sun. Just as a bald person must pay special attention to his follicelly challenged pate during the hot summer days, your “beet-cheeked” beauties need to pay special attention to their bareness below. I would suggest you arrive fully stocked with lots of sunburn ointment to treat the immediate problem. Then, you must teach the animals the saving grace of sunscreen - SPF 500 should help cover the problem. And finally, just as a hat is used to protect a hairless head, some colorful boxers should help protect the hairless butts of your precious primates. Be sure they are colorful - this will assist in the mating rituals and rumping that is sure to follow. (I would suggest leaving discreetly before this begins - I’ve heard it’s not a pretty site.)
Good Luck!



Dear "yoo-Hoo"... Pantyman,
Why is it that all plumbers seem to wear undies that are either too big or too small, and that insist on letting the world see, shat is now known world-wide as the “Plumber’s Crack”? Is this a union thing or what? Can it be stopped? The sight has surely caused innumerable people untold trauma!
SEAL THE CRACK

Dear Seal:
Thank you so much for your letter. Your question is one I have often
wondered about myself, and has prompted our own “crack” staff to discover the following:
The first record of the “plumber’s crack” was made by the Greeks. They too understood its power and the trauma it could cause, and listed it right up there with the “evil eye” as something to be avoided at all costs. It definitely is a worldwide problem. We checked with over 5,142 countries and found that each had it’s own “plumber’s crack” tales to tell. Although it is not an official union policy, there is an unwritten code among the brotherhood of plumbers that “a crack at the back helps you get paid a whack.”
Our secret source in the plumbing industry - “Deep Crack”, has told us that the crack has three specific purposes:
It lets everyone know that you are, or once were a plumber
It’s a handy place to store extra screws, nuts, bolts and washers.
Most importantly - The site of the “plumber’s crack” keeps customers from hanging around, disrupting the work with idle chit-chat, offers of
assistance and worst of all (for plumbers) the help of the do-it-yourselfer!
So, it seems that the infamous “plumbers crack” is simply a defense
mechanism, aimed at helping the much maligned plumber do his job competently and in relative peace.

P.S. Ever notice that “Super Mario” has no crack - Guess he’s not a real plumber after all!

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